Wii U controller

I should preface this post by reminding you that I hate the Wii. Mostly.

When the Wii U was announced back at E3, I was at a loss for words. I had already heard a bit about it, thanks to the rampant rumors about the new Nintendo console, but I was still a bit shocked to find those rumors confirmed. It was pretty much the epitome of everything I didn’t want or need in a console all rolled into one.

If the Wii U had looked like the first mock-up on this page, I might not have minded so much to be perfectly honest. Nintendo refuses to admit that many of us embrace Nintendo simply for overly-nostalgic and retro reasons. Own it, Nintendo, and we’d love you all the more.

Instead, you’re bestowing upon me a controller with a screen. I guess you don’t know me, so maybe you haven’t had the chance to realize that I drop stuff. All the time. No one can even fathom that my hand-me-down iPad is still in working order, and I sit still with it for the most part. How am I supposed to keep a controller from losing its life while I’m waggling and doing otherwise awkward-looking Wii-related motions?

What do I need that screen for anyway? Aren’t I just going to get even more motion sick trying to pan my view from one screen to the other? There’s no way I could use it as some sort of HUD or radar. I’m too easily disoriented. And too easily nauseated.

And, really, how much juice is this controller going to suck from the console? Let’s say that the Wii U does manage to have the current generation’s level of graphics capability. It’s going to take a fair bit of processing power to be sending a second, completely different image to a second screen. Are we going to wind up with the “good” games not using the screen and the crappy novelty games (like what we see on the Wii now) making use of it?

Why should we fork out another couple hundred bucks for a new piece of hardware that Nintendo should have released years ago? This thing should be able to run laps around the PS3 and the 360, but it’s only going to be comparable or slightly better than them.

I don’t need another kitschy console, and I can’t imagine I’m the only one who foresees the arguments over who gets the fancy new controller. I know that’s a bit childish, but I just can’t see that working well. Besides, I still don’t want to waggle! I want a controller that responds when I give it input. I don’t need a stylus to improve my gaming. That’s what my DS is for.

Finally, I can’t fathom sitting comfortably with that controller in my lap. Your arms have to be spread a bit too wide to use it properly. A 360 controller can rest in your lap with your hands supported by your legs. Anything beyond that is going to be much too large for my hands.

To its credit, however, I had raged about the potential of not having the controller be rechargeable, but it will include some sort of rechargeable-ness. So, that, at least, pleases me.

Of course, the Wii U, like the Wii, won’t fail for a few reasons. Most importantly, it won’t fail because of the potential for Nintendo exclusives. And it also won’t fail because TG wants one, which means tons of people want one. Obviously. Once again, TG, way to fail.


About Amanda

Amanda is a 20-something flailing gamer. While she loves MMORPGs, the company in them often triggers flare-ups of her social anxiety. Her all-time favorite games include Everquest Online Adventures, Eternal Sonata, the Animal Crossing series, Katamari Damacy, and Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure. She lives on junk food, and her favorite books are equally trashy. She doesn't believe in putting two spaces after a period, but she does strongly believe in the serial comma. Unfortunately, she has a penchant for starting sentences with "and" and "but;" hopefully you won't hold that, or her excessive use of semicolons, against her.

3 responses »

  1. You know, the reason that the Wii U should fail is because it’s not as awesome as the kinect. I have all three major gaming systems, and since the kinect I have found myself playing the xbox more and more. Even with the limited selection that the kinect offers, from my dance game that I play with my girls, to my work out game… I would almost classify the amount of time I spend playing kinect to the amount of time I spent playing WoW. Only this time I’m working out. It’s awesome.

    If Microsoft got serious about the kinect games – kinect would blow both Wii and Playstation out of the water. We’ll see what happens with Jedi Knights.

    • I haven’t gotten far enough past my Wii rage to try out the Kinect yet, but if the right titles came out, that could definitely change. I would love to see what MS can do with the Kinect if they continue treat it more like a “grown-up” toy, unlike what Nintendo went for. You’re definitely right, though. It could be huge!

  2. […] right, almost every single post with the exception of this one somehow revolved around food.  It was either about your kids not eating food, or the newest […]

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