Bowser is just an ugly lizard

Every now and then TG hooks up the NES and gets his retro on.

What? People talk like that.

Anyway, sometimes TG plays lovely games from our NES library. He technically has one of these lovely A320 Emulators, but for classics like Super Mario Bros. sometimes a TV and a controller just feel right.

TG has a little trouble with Super Mario Bros. He’s afraid of the Hammer Bros. and Boomerang Bros. He’s also terrified of Bowser. He can go from a ton of lives to Game Over in a single castle, dying in the same spot over and over. He just chokes for no explainable reason.

It’s not like those parts are particularly harder than the rest of the game. His childhood memories just jump in and suddenly he’s that six year-old little boy who needs his big brother to do the hard jumps for him. And that little six year-old just can’t handle Bowser. Bowser is big, green, and intimidating.

So, how do you grow past a childhood fear? How do you learn to let go your own personal Bowsers?

You kick Bowser’s scaly, green ass.

Then you do it again. And again. Over and over and over.

Well, once TG beat Super Mario Bros. for the first time ever, he went through it again. If you don’t know, the game restarts slightly harder. And then it just keeps looping. Unfortunately, TG was pretty convinced that it would eventually have an ending.

“They can’t just leave it open-ended like that!”

Oh, TG. No matter how many times you beat Bowser, you’re not going to find the closure you’re looking for.


About Amanda

Amanda is a 20-something flailing gamer. While she loves MMORPGs, the company in them often triggers flare-ups of her social anxiety. Her all-time favorite games include Everquest Online Adventures, Eternal Sonata, the Animal Crossing series, Katamari Damacy, and Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure. She lives on junk food, and her favorite books are equally trashy. She doesn't believe in putting two spaces after a period, but she does strongly believe in the serial comma. Unfortunately, she has a penchant for starting sentences with "and" and "but;" hopefully you won't hold that, or her excessive use of semicolons, against her.

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