I was wandering through the Twitterverse, when I came across someone advertising a blog post they’d put up a few days ago. As it was about Gamers Dating Gamers, I was intrigued. Unfortunately, the post in question leaves me feeling a bit confused and ragey. Were they trying to be satirical or do they really just have that much disdain for women who choose to play games?
Based on the nature of the other front page posts, satire doesn’t seem to be the nature of the blog by any means. The posts are all a little aggressive for my taste, so it’s just not a blog I’ll follow. It’s a “close the window and move on” kind of situation, but the point made in the original post still sticks with me: A “gamer” shouldn’t date a “girl gamer” for fear of either her not really being a gamer or of her hogging the Xbox. And, wow, does that offend me.
Unless it’s satirical. Then I totally get what you’re saying.
Except, it’s not. And I don’t.
Being in a relationship with someone who shares the same interests as you can be amazing. Living with someone who wants to play with you is so much fun. But, the thing about being a grown-up is that, as you mature emotionally and as you go through hard times in life, you learn to make choices differently.
Maybe the worst thing in the world isn’t that you can’t get on the Xbox tonight. Maybe, if you’ve found someone that you really care about, you want to see that person happy and having fun.
Do marathon runners encourage other runners not to date a “girl runner”? Do they fear for fights over shoes and fancy pedometers? Of course not! A girl runner probably brings her own preferred equipment, and, if she doesn’t, that’s what stores are for.
A girl gamer likely already has her own consoles, handhelds, and games. Looking derogatorily down at someone for playing a handheld while you tool around in an FPS doesn’t make you a superior gamer. It could, however, lower your stock in the eyes of some potential mates, but I suppose those wouldn’t be the ones you’re interested in anyway.
But it all makes me wonder if the problem is less about losing precious Xbox time. I wonder if the OP would discourage a male gamer from dating another male gamer. Would there be a problem with two guys, each bringing their own gaming equipment, spending a little time gaming together? You know, kind of like a LAN party but longer term.
I feel like the post in question was less of a “warning about dating a gamer” and more about hating on girl gamers. It’s the same as the looks I get when I walk into places like Gamestop. It’s a look that says, “How cute, she’s trying to buy a game for her boyfriend,” or it’s a look that says, “Raise Your Own Sparkleponies to Ride and Groom can be found on both Wii and DS; let me wrap that up for you.” It’s a look that pierces through and makes my skin crawl. It’s judgment. It hurts.
I can’t be a gamer because I don’t have a penis.
I’ve lived with a gamer for over eight years now. We’ve never had anything but fun together. We’ve gamed together, and we’ve gamed separately; we never have more fun than when we play cooperatively to work toward our goals. In high school, he loaned me his PS2 and later bought me my own as a graduation gift. He always has a healer to support his tank in MMOs, except for those times when we decide to switch roles and he has a tank to protect him.
He has never been disappointed by my lack of penis as far as I know.
Our lives revolve around our shared interests. Our relationship revolves around our shared interests. And, come on, I never hog the 360; we’ve got two, after all.